The Impacts of Children on Relationships

woman carrying baby with pacifier in mouth


The Impacts of Children on Relationships

“Women want kids, but they don’t want to be mothers”

Western feminist women today are not raised to be mothers. 1

Many relationships fail after having children as a result of the strain it puts on relationships, which is why there is such a shocking amount of single mothers on Tinder etc.

Background – Feminist Culture

The recent Barbie movie showed this feminist culture in the scene where little girls were smashing their dolls in favour of Barbie materialism.

You only have to go to online dating to see just how many young women have their Tinder bios set to “I don’t want children” – they want holidays and handbags instead, with half their pictures in exotic holiday locations with designer accessories. Colloquially from personal experience in the West, this seems to be worst among young white women.

Ironically, in the cinematic intro, the lead actress Margot Robbie introduces herself as “Barbie, the Destroyer of Worlds”… a wordplay around being co-released next to the Oppenheimer movie. Yet this is quite a big red pill in your face considering that feminism has caused a massive decline in birth rates across all countries that are infected with it via universal suffrage changing societies’ laws and culture.

This is why the phrase “Feminism is Cancer” [to society] was circulated online in recent years, leading to the Tech Oligarchs de-platforming people to try to kill the message and prevent the truth from reaching the masses. They fear people waking up.

How Having Children Is Guaranteed To Impact Your Relationship

Once children arrive, your relationship with your girlfriend is forever altered.

From now on, you come second, third, or fourth.

But you want your children so badly, that this is fine you say. You’re a good man.

You’ll make it work.

And work you will, because as soon as the children come, she won’t want to.

Many women prefer to work reduced hours or give up their work entirely.

Usually at least until the children go to school, which in the West is 4-5 years after birth, and that counter gets reset with each new baby, until the last of the children are in school.

Childcare is Expensive

Childcare is notoriously expensive, although it varies exactly how expensive by country.

In the UK, the cost of a single child in childcare is approximately two-thirds of the net average salary.

This is because most nurseries are private for-profit businesses, and there isn’t enough competition to bring the price down. Also, who would you trust to look after your children, your most precious thing in life?

Ideally, grandparents could help out, except that people relocate for work away from their historic family locations, and today even many grandparents selfishly don’t see it as their family duty to babysit any more.

This means that the common relationship discussion is often along the lines of

“oh well, I guess I’ll just stay home until the kids go to school”

Unless she’s a highly paid professional and you desperately need her income to cover your huge joint mortgage, in which case she has no choice but to go back to work.

Children Are Tiring

Children take a lot of effort, you’re constantly feeding and cleaning up after them.

By the time you’ve fed them breakfast and cleaned up everything it is nearly time for lunch and the cycle repeats onwards, with toys strewn across the floors and trying to stop them drawing on the walls in between.

By the time you put them to bed, you collapse on the couch to try to minimize energy expenditure, and then grudgingly realize you have to eat yourself.

Such is the life of the parent doing the primary childcare, usually the mother.

You aren’t going to have much energy left for sex. Besides sex, is the thing that got you in this mess in the first place. Nature’s bribe and you’re paying for it now.

Children Are Themselves Contraception

Children do not create a sexy lifestyle.

The thrill and adventure of a being a couple, going out, holidays, hotels, restaurants and all those other things fade into an ever more distant memory as the months go by.

I often wondered why people in history didn’t have 15-20 kids, since women are fertile and having sex from their late teens to later thirties, at least 20 good years, with only 9 months per child and 2-3 months recovery per child.

Once you have children, then you find out real quick why.

Children are themselves contraceptives.

By taking up so much of your time and energy, they suppress your libido, and that is before they’re coming into your bedroom crying because they’re scared of the dark and want to sleep with you.

Your Sex Life Diminishes

Your finances will take a hit, but as a good responsible man you can make those sacrifices.

You can sacrifice your lifestyle, go to low brow family restaurants instead of adult restaurants, do the odd staycation instead of a holiday etc. Because your children are worth it.

The harder sacrifice is your sex life.

Lack of sex affects your hormones, mood, masculinity and self-perception.

Some women just lose interest in you and you wonder if they ever had any in the first place.

Women Become Resentful

Now return to the original premise:

“Women want kids, but they don’t want to be mothers”

Western feminist women today are not raised to be mothers.

They resent the lifestyle changes. They see their childless feminist friends going on holidays and buying designer handbags, posting pictures on Instagram etc. And here they are changing nappies, wiping poop off squirming babies and trying not to get any on their hands.

A woman can become resentful of you for having downgraded her life from the glamour that she sees other women having every day.

In history, women were more down to earth and social media wasn’t in your face all the time giving you FOMO. They were also not given resources if they didn’t do what men wanted, such as raising the man’s family in exchange. They couldn’t have their own bank accounts or own property, for good reason it turns out.

This resentment manifests in calls for you to do your “fair share”, even though you’re almost certainly already paying the lion’s share of the costs, if not 100% of everything.tht You’re told your job is a holiday compared to having children which is an always-on job etc.

Now there’s no denying that swooping in and giving her a reprieve here and there by taking the kids off her hands is a welcome relief, but in no world should a man ever be a second mother to the children. And especially not when he’s the one paying for them.

Attraction Fades Over Time

Nor is it sexy to be a dad.

A woman needs to do little to get a man willing to have sex.

Even a slightly out-of-shape mother of your children is as sexy to you as ever when you’re horny and haven’t gotten any in two weeks – like a cracker to a starving man – especially because she’s “your” woman and you’ve emotionally pair-bonded with her.

She’s not some single mother leftover with a ruined sagging stomach that you’ve picked up off the street and tried to dust off like the 5-second-rule, you have history together, she’s different, remember.

But while you might be willing to get it on with her, she is often not.

You are locked down, cohabiting if not married at that point, after all you couldn’t very well tell her you’re not going to move in together as soon as she gets pregnant. What kind of guy would you be? This is how they trap you.

Perhaps you moved in together first as the natural progression of a committed relationship and planned your children carefully.

But either way, the destination is the same.

The reality is the humdrum life of being a parent is boring.

She’s already had you for years, your novelty has worn off.

There are only so many new tricks you can come up with or sex toys you can buy.

Increased Financial Responsibilities

Since “children are expensive” as everybody says, and since she’s likely reduced or eliminated her earnings entirely, this puts added financial pressure on you as the man.

Many men step up, working harder to try to get that promotion, hustle more, even take on second jobs if they have to.

You work so hard to be a good and loyal provider that you don’t have the time or energy to be in the gym in good shape like when she first met you.

And why you may be happy to have sex with the imperfect mother version of her with a sagging stomach and slight cellulite on her legs… the reverse is often not true.

“Women are fickle creatures”

While you’re not being your buff best version of yourself as you’re flat out killing yourself in “need to make money” mode, you gradually transition from the Alpha Male lover to the Beta Male Provider role, little by little, month by month.

Worse still, while your herculean efforts to bring home the bacon may be admired to start with, they become normalized and taken for granted over time, and seem to not count towards doing your “fair share”.

It’s hard to keep a woman happy these days.


As your sex life declines, through a combination of you both being tired and becoming less physically attractive, you are faced with a terrible dilemma.

If she stops giving you sex, for whatever reason, but ultimately because she isn’t interested in having sex with you, you are now faced with three sub-optimal choices:

  1. Resign yourself to being in the 1/4 of sexless relationships
  2. Cheat
  3. Break up with her to have sex with someone else

There is no good answer if she decides she doesn’t want to have sex with you.

If you have much testosterone, then congratulations, you’ve probably just created another one of those single mothers polluting the dating market and claiming more state benefits pushing up the tax rates.

The Massive Rise of Female Infidelity – The Real Threat

It’s not just men who cheat. We were raised to believe that women were the better gender, and are being painfully proven wrong in recent years since the advent of social media and dating apps.

Women are massive cheaters today because it’s far easier for them to get sex.

To make matters worse, women often pick Mr Beta dependable guy to have kids with for financial security, but fuck Mr Alpha Chad hot guy on the side for fun. This is counter-intuitive to average guys because they’re not the tall hot muscular guy who walks into clubs and out with a different woman each night, so they’ve not seen the extreme difference in reaction from the same “good girl” relationship chameleons towards different levels of guys.

The same woman who doesn’t want to have sex with you any more, will drop her knickers for a new hotter guy than you for a one night stand or 2 hours at a hotel before coming home from girl’s night out where she gets an opportunity too good to say no to.

This is why 1/3 kids tested in clinics shows paternity fraud – they don’t belong to the husband or boyfriend.

To make matters worse, the feminist voting majority state has changed the laws in recent decades since universal suffrage to guarantee her financial security via divorce, alimony, or at the very least child support, often a percentage of your income, more than children cost to subsidize her life. In some states she can claim child support from you even if the kids are proven via DNA tests to not be yours!

Therefore the risk to her of this dual-mating strategy is significantly reduced even if caught, further incentivizing her to cheat and minimizing any consequences even in the unlikely event that she gets caught (women are master cheaters because their lives literally depended on it in history).

The excellent book Sperm Wars contains real-world accounts of infidelity with their evolutionary biology explanations for why they are in fact rationally evolved behavior in both genders.

Sperm Wars by Robin Baker PhD

If Children Are Expensive, Mothers Are Extortionate

You’re probably already subsidizing her adult living costs – accommodation, car, food, bills, clothes, trips and everything else on top of the expenses of your children.

This is fair if she’s having your kids and cannot provide for herself.

It’s been this way throughout history, which is why women seek resource providers in any age in history, because those early years are especially hard for her and it is best done as a nuclear family unit.

The real problem comes with the above section where your relationship breaks down due to lack of intimacy, infidelity on either your part or hers, such as with the hotter guy from the gym as she goes subconsciously goes gene shopping to improve her subsequent children via paternity fraud, which is unfortunately a lot more common than you think.

Now you’re going to get stung by the feminist child support agencies to keep paying for your kids and often over-paying via a feminist-dictated calculation based on a percentage of your earnings, effectively subsidizing her even though you’re no longer in a relationship.

If you’ve been naive enough to get married in recent decades, you will also likely get divorce raped in court as the judge will award her even more of the assets and alimony to further prop up her finances on the basis that she is looking after the children. You should fight for 50-50 custody which will also minimize this skew, otherwise you can face 75% asset loss including your house, plus alimony on top.

All of this will also impact your ability to afford a new relationship and make you less desirable to new women. Women don’t want your financial resources going to some other bitch every month.

What You Can Do On A Personal Level To Avoid Disaster

Firstly, realize this is beyond your control, but you can do your best to improve your odds.

You cannot control another human being’s actions or reactions.

She might cheat on you to get some excitement back in her life, or just because there are hotter guys than you easily available to her via dating apps, gyms, or basically anywhere she goes, or even just because of the novelty of a new man.

You might have to walk away eventually to save your self-respect.

Things You Can Try

  1. Maintain the relationship connection emotionally
    • take her on periodic date nights without the kids – one of my best friends from school whose parents weren’t divorced or miserable, used to go out every Friday night together
  2. Stay in Shape
    • you may never be a Chad, but there’s no reason to have a gut or be skinny fat – minimize your weaknesses, and at the very least stay in as good shape as when you first met
  3. Give her some rest periods where you look after the kids
    • this may help her libido to recover as it requires enough sleep to restore hormone balance
    • it may also help her to avoid resenting you as much if you’re “in it together” at a physical level and not just financial – as per above, there is diminishing credit for financial support
    • be careful not to give her too much time and space to cheat though – “Girl’s Night Out” is a big red flag for this reason

No Guarantees

Nobody can promise you any of this will work. But you have to try.

There is no excuse for not trying – you don’t want to look back and say “I wish I’d tried harder”. Leave nothing on the table so at least you have a clear conscience if it does all goes wrong, which it often does today.

Feminists Are What They Are

Remember, feminist women are not raised to be mothers today, there is too much FOMO, too much opportunity to cheat and you have no legal recourse to her doing so any more under new feminist law.

You may think your woman is not a “Feminist” because she doesn’t identify as such, but if she’s raised in the West, chances are very high that she is at least partially feminist, and this could come back to bite you at any time. See How To Spot A Feminist.

Women today do not expect to make the normal sacrifices that our ancestors made – feminism has changed society and women, and short of revoking women’s right to vote and going back to patriarchy, it’s unlikely anybody can fix this.

So make the best of it and good luck.


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