The Problems with Having Kids Today

grayscale photo of woman carrying baby


The Problems with Having Kids Today

Most relationships fail over time today, which is why you see so many single mothers on Tinder.

“If I knew then what I know now I’d never have had kids” – my long-time friend

Whether it was his wife cheating on him and his devastating 3 year divorce, or the pending economic threat of AI crushing what’s left of the middle class, or a bit of both, my friend’s sentiment rang true as a father myself.

“I wish I’d never met her” – my cousin

My cousin echoed a similar sentiment wishing he’d never met the mother of his three children. I reminded him that without her, his children wouldn’t exist. He reasserted his statement regardless. Ouch. “If I hadn’t had my son with her [aged 8], I’d have been free of her next year” [when his 2nd kid turns 18].

For background, my cousin was a DJ and heavy womanizer for 25 years. Yet despite all the women in the intervening years which I couldn’t keep track of, his baby mama ex from 10 – 20 years ago is the one he regrets ever meeting.

A theme seems to be emerging among men I know who have kids with their exes.

My experiences with a couple of my own baby mamas isn’t far from theirs either. Although I try to refrain from saying things that imply wishing my children away… but… being stuck with baby mamas is painful.

Kids Impact Relationships

When you have kids you’ll find out how quickly a woman doesn’t love you.

She’ll suddenly decide she doesn’t want to go back to work, or only wants to work the bare minimum she can get away with while you work ever more to pay for everything for her.

Meanwhile she’ll enjoy her life and time with the young children, going to kids activity classes and visiting her friends.

Eventually many men realize that their women don’t really love them, they’re a means to an end. This can be quite a crushing realization for a man who loved ‘his’ girl.

See The Impacts of Children on Relationships article for more analysis on the various ways that children can impact relationships.

Most Relationships Fail Over Time

Women initiate most relationship breakups because they have more, faster and easier dating options to get a replacement. It’s hard to keep a modern woman happy forever so that she doesn’t pull that grenade pin on you, or you get sick of arguments with her and leave her.

Women are also capable of hurting men quite badly when men are not able to enforce their authority or disown them due to feminist laws and logistics of the mothers holding their kids as financial hostages.

The alternative to breaking up with you is cheating on you. Women do this to have the best of both worlds – the stable beta male provider guy for relationship support and money, and the hot alpha male genetics guy for sex.

Women cheat like crazy these days because it’s so incredibly easy for them to do, and protected by feminist law. Paternity testing clinics show 1/3 of kids DNA tested do not belong to the right father.

If she cheats on you, are you really willing to sacrifice all your self-respect to stay with her for the sake of your kids? This will destroy you as a man. Also, DNA test they’re actually your kids.

If you leave her, as most men with self-respect would do, then you face several more problems.

Broken Homes

Broken homes are on the rise over time due to the breakdown in gender relations caused by feminist divorce laws and widespread female infidelity.

National Fatherhood Initiative - children living without their father in the home are 47% more likely to live in poverty
In America, 23.6% of childre, 17.4 million, lived in father-absent homes in 2014

Compare the above and below infographics. In just 4 years between 2014 to 2018, two million more children were father deprived.

According to the US Census Bureau, 19.5 million children, more than 1 in 4, live without a father in the home

Being Stuck with Baby Mamas is Very Painful

Unless she’s a drug addict, you will get at best 50-50 custody, or fortnightly weekends.

You will be stuck dealing with your often bitter exe for up to 18 years.

Lost Opportunities

You also won’t be able to take job opportunities in another city or country as you can’t take your children with you, stunting your career opportunities and economic options to escape from high cost of living territories.

Child Support

Then there’s the financial damage of being ensnared by the feminist child support agencies taking the man’s wages to an amount he does not consent to, and often far exceeds the children’s true costs.

It may be spent by the mother on herself without any accountability, and even used to take her new boyfriend on holidays.

For rich men this problem is even worse as the mother can take him to court for any arbitrary amount of millions of dollars, stunting even rich men’s birth rates.

Cuckoldry & Risk to Children

The worst though is the emotional damage you are almost certainly going to take, whether it’s her cheating on you, berating you and making your life at home hell, or the post-breakup scenarios.

After you’re separated she can whore around in your house, taking men into her bedroom in front of your children, who will remember this, yet under feminist law there is nothing you can do about it.

She can leave your teenage daughter or 5 year old son at home with her new boyfriend all day while she goes to work, and there is nothing you can do about it.

She can cohabit with a new man with your children and there is nothing you can do about it. You have no control or authority over the danger this poses to your children.

There is a far higher incidence of child abuse or sexual abuse by non-related adult males. Instinctively some children can sense this via awkwardness and their uncomfortable childhood feelings.

This western feminist cuckoldry is unfortunately all too common, and may contribute to men being 80% of suicides as they are rendered powerless over their own lives, homes or children by the feminist state.

Blocked Visitation & Parental Alienation

Many exes block visitation out of spite, or after arguments.

Going through family court is to try to legally enforce re-establishing visitation is very expensive. Lawyer’s fees are hundreds of dollars per hour of discussions / emails / phone calls / court documents etc. The legal fees can easily run to $20,000 for a simple case.

You can also expect false allegations of domestic abuse to the police to give her leverage in court. In that case you can rack up a second set of criminal defence lawyers fees. That’ll also likely be in the range of several thousand to tens of thousands of dollars. I have it on good authority personally from two lawyers and a barrister that this is extremely common. Also expect every imperfect thing you’ve ever said to be recorded and used against you.

My son didn’t see his half-sisters for a year due to my exe blocking visitation.

My cousin hasn’t seen his sons in over a year either because his exe is currently denying him visitation. He can’t afford the lawyers fees to take her to court.

Even if successful it can take a year in the court system to get an initial hearing to get even some temporary intermediate visitation enforced. A year of your children’s lives in which you haven’t seen them. They are noticeably different after a year, physically and mentally.

And if she’s worked them over mentally for a year in isolation from you, they may not even want to see you any more. She may have told them that you don’t love them or don’t want to see them, destroying their emotional bond to you.

Judge Judith Sheindlin - if you don't encourage the child to have a relationship with the other parent, you are either a bad parent or a bad grandparent. You can either encourage or discourage it

What We Can Learn From History

In history, such scumbag women would be financially disowned social outcasts, not fit to retain custody of children on moral grounds for being hoes, if not outright criminals for adultery or financial/property theft. Such destitute women often ended up as prostitutes.

In many places, they were stoned to death for being such terrible human beings and severely breaking the social contract with their cuckoldry.

Girls were raised to not be such terrible women. If your mother became one, chances are high the social disgrace would incentivize you to want to prove yourself as the furthest thing from her and uphold a high moral standard.

Impacts of Single Mothers on Their Children

Many children of such single-mother homes frequently cite not wanting children of their own.

I’ve met many such men in real life who don’t want children, and upon further discussion, it often turned out that it was because of their single mother.

They wouldn’t want their children to experience the childhood they did, so they opt out of having children of their own, knowing that there is a high likelihood of their children suffering single motherhood.

Your Children Probably Won’t Turn Out How You Wanted

Kids today are often not raised by their fathers, but rather by their mothers, TikTok / social media, and State schooling indoctrinating them into all kinds of stupid left-wing ideologies prioritizing weirdos over normal people.

If they don’t turn out to be complete weirdos from the above, chances are they won’t want to have children of their own.

You may see advice like “Don’t give your children smartphones at 11-13 years of age”, but you can’t tell women shit, and especially not single mothers. Which is why women should have no vote or legal authority. My teenage daughter spends several hours a day on Snapchat with her friends, plus TikTok, and as a non-resident father you can’t do anything about that.

I realized with my eldest daughter around the time she turned 15 that I was losing a war of attrition. Up until that point she was a mini-me and I was very happy with her progress and confident that I could instil good values in her. But it’s hard to compete with the volume of time that school, peers and social media have with her compared to you as working father, and as a typical separated weekend / fortnight father it’s 5-10x worse.

man in green and black polo shirt smiling

Don’t Expect Your Children To Be Grateful for Your Sacrifices

Your children may never understand, nor appreciate, your countless sacrifices for them.

Make sure you look after yourself as you go through life.

Don’t just live for your children, as much joy as they bring you, especially when they are young and cute.

You don’t want to look back one day when you’re old and realize that you haven’t lived.

If you have a falling out with your children it could break you for not having looked after yourself too, as you may feel like you’ve lost everything you sacrificed for, with no more time in life for a second chance.

Daughters Are Much More Likely to Bring Disgrace Upon You Than Sons

This is not an endorsement of gender selection abortion or abortion of any kind.

If you have kids, it’s your responsibility to do your best.

However, you must realize that in this day and age of rampant female promiscuity, smartphone home sex videos and the rise of OnlyFans amateur porn among young girls looking to make a quick buck following influencers… the chances are much higher that a female child will bring disgrace upon you and your family.

I have little advice on this front as my daughters are not yet of the age where I’ve had to face this, but brace yourself if you have daughters in the age of feminists encouraging all women to be whores.

It’s very uncomfortable having daughters in this age to be honest.

I’ve had arguments with their mothers about this feminist culture… the problem rolls down the matriarchal feminist generations unfortunately.

The only solution to that would be a return to strict patriarchy and handing all authority back to fathers over mothers.

Daughter Reveals Her BODY COUNT In Front Of Her FATHER?!
Daughter Reveals Her BODY COUNT In Front Of Her FATHER?! – Whatever Podcast

The Cost & Rising Threat of AI

The elites have already offshored blue-collar manufacturing jobs and are now busy building AI to take white-collar jobs.

Even if you can afford kids today, there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to afford them for a full 18-20 years to raise them.

Nor is there any guarantee there will be enough decent jobs left for them when they reach adulthood.

That being said, people had kids during the cold war when they lived in fear of being nuked. The future is always uncertain, you must find a way to overcome it if you want children badly enough.

stainless steel robot toy in close up photography

Children Need The Fall of Feminism

It’s a tough world to bring kids into right now.

Things won’t improve until feminism is toppled. Family unit stability will only be restored when the man is returned to being the legal head of the household. The mother can leave the home with nothing, or be thrown out for cheating, but you must remain set up in your house with your kids. You can then more easily get a new woman who will also look after your kids in exchange for a relationship and some of her own. You can afford this since you’ve not been financially ruined by your exe. If you’ve been foolish enough to marry her and then have kids, you’re basically fucked under current feminist law.

If you manage to retain control through a combination of avoiding marriage and maintaining financial leverage, that would still leave the AI economics problem, but that’s a story for another blog post. One problem at a time.

Revoking all of women’s financial subsidies taken from men via big state feminist governments would change women’s incentives. Women would have to give men the children they want in exchange for their personal financial support. It would also prevent women thinking they can own the children without accountability to the father.

Unfortunately, feminism can’t be defeated democratically. Women are majority voters due to higher male mortality rates (men do the dangerous jobs). This is a topic for another pending blog post.

Passport Bros – Escaping Western Women

If I knew 20 years ago what I know now, I would never have kids with any woman who has the right to live in a western feminist country.

I say “right to live” because if she has a passport or some visa ability to get to a country like the US or UK, she could take your kids there and weaponize their feminist laws internationally against you almost anywhere in the world.

If I were going to have any more kids today it’s likely I’d go the “Passport Bros” route, see here for details:

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