Never Make A Women Seriously Cry
Never make a woman you’re in a serious relationship with seriously cry.
If you do, you should brace yourself for a storm in the coming months and years even if you do stay together in the short to medium term.
Love is like a delicate flower, and once damaged may never be the same again. I was explaining this to my son the other day. Youth and freshness are the greatest thing ever, and like delicate love you don’t get them back.
What It Means To Seriously Cry
By “seriously cry”, I mean something that cuts her deeply emotionally – such as:
- cheating on her
- being caught watching porn (may undermine her self esteem or be seen as cheating)
- saying or writing something very mean about her, such as her looks, age, personality or sexual history
- not even in private notes or texts to your friends in case she reads it off your phone
In short, these generally come down to not doing anything you wouldn’t be ok with her knowing about that might change her perception of you if she found out.
Impact – Reduced Pair Bonding
I’ve been through this a couple times with serious exes to see this change in them personally, and looking back, the much later inevitable relationship failures that resulted were at least partly my fault.
Even though in both cases I left them for things that at the time I explicitly blamed them for, the catalyst was their reduced pair bonding that resulted from me having made them seriously cry.
As I think back on this now with regret at certain such pivotal moments in my relationship histories, it spurred me to write this post for you guys.
Implications
Even if you don’t break up at the time, the effects often manifest insidiously over time, such as one or more of the following:
- relationship dissociation – focusing on work or children instead of each other
- reduced sexual frequency
- cheating
- this is too easy for her to do these days – don’t give her any excuse – it may happen to you regardless, but at least you should know you were the best man you could be
- ending up in a sexless relationship (1/4 of relationships are sexless)
- breaking up eventually
- either from her end or possibly you being forced to dump her yourself as you realize she’s just using you for resources but doesn’t love you any more
- divorce
Ultimately you’ve broken the love in the relationship by your careless handling of her.
Golden Rules & Cutting Your Losses
This is why the Golden Rules include No Marriage and No Cohabitation.
You are best off cutting your losses as soon as you can once the relationship crashes and burns, preserving your resources and most importantly your time.
Once the relationship has too far gone, where you DTB or she does, see also Never Take Her Back for why you mustn’t lose any more respect or time on it.
You’re aging too, and platitudes like “women age like milk and men age like fine wine” don’t help when you’re old.
You don’t have an infinite amount of time to rebound and date again, not even as a man.
Conclusion
If you have a nice girl, treat her kindly.
Although nearly all relationships fail over time these days, and looking back as I write this blog I feel some guilt towards mine, the reality is that even if you’re the perfect gentleman there are still so many things that can go wrong in a relationship these days.
All you can do is try to be as self-aware as possible, do your best, and be prepared if things don’t work out. Follow the Golden Rules.
